Material Safety Data Sheet
                        WOMAN -- Chemical Analysis

Element:                Woman
Symbol:                 WO2
Discoverer:             Adam
Atomic Weight:          Accepted as 110 lbs, known to vary 100 to 550 lbs.
Occurrence:             Copious quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:
        1.  Surface usually covered with a painted film.
        2.  Boils at nothing, Freezes without reason.
        3.  Melts if given proper treatment.
        4.  Bitter if incorrectly used or abused.
        5.. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
        6.  Yields to pressure if applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:
        1.  Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and all precious
            stones.
        2.  Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
        3.  May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
            reason.
        4.  Insoluable in liquids, but activity greatly increased by
            saturation with alcohol.
        5.  Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Uses:
        1.  Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
        2.  Can be a great aid to relaxation.

Taste:
        1.  Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
        2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Hazards:
        1.  Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
        2.  Illegal and unwise to possess more than one.