The following is a copy of some correspondance which took place between an editor and a Mr. Lewis Carroll: Dear Mr. Carroll, The publisher has referred to me your latest work, a poem called "Jabberwocky," for editing. "Jabberwocky" seems rife with misspellings and typos; I assumed that these were unintentional and the fault of your typist. Fortunately, we have recently purchased PROFS (Professional Office Systems), a new IBM package that includes a sophisticated proofreader and spelling checker. This program is able to guess quite accurately as to what the misspelled word may actually be. PROFS also offers synonyms and alternatives for words, and it can note redundant, awkward or wordy phrases. I have run "Jabberwocky" through this program. Granted, your obvious intent is to produce a work of fantasy, so I've taken some of your proper nouns to be creations of your imagination. Certain words, however, weren't clear. For example, the first line of your original text read: "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves." The only words recognized by the PROFS proofreader were "and the." When I hit a key marked "aid," I get a list of what PROFS construes to be possible spellings of a flagged word. With "slithy," PROFS came up with slithery, slimy, slither, slimly, silty, slinky, and slight. Your typist must have inadvertently dropped the "er" from "slithery" and come up with the nonsense "slithy." Of course, I fixed the word to say "slithery." And so it goes. I continued to make repairs as I deemed fit. But Mr. Carroll, the mistakes were not always clear. For example, in the first verse your text read: "All mimsy were the borogoves." The computer thought that you had meant to say: "All misty were the bongoes," but bongoes is a far shot from borogoves. What did you mean by borogoves? In the second verse, you warn to "shun the frumious Bandersnatch!" "Frumious" is obviously a misspelling of "furious"; however, I have no idea as to just what a Bandersnatch might be. Our computer has suggested "Ballerinas," but I suspect that you had something better in mind. Mr. Carroll, I've edited many fantasies, so I must warn you that I am familiar with all forms of sword, be they elfish, dwarfish or otherwise. I have already heard of the "vorpal sword" you mentioned in verse three. It seems to have gained popularity among role-playing game enthusiasts,(1) but I'm not sure its reference is appropriate here. The computer certainly doesn't have "vorpal" in its memory, so I'm not sure that the public would appreciate your using the word. I have let the computer substitute "verbal" for "vorpal," and I believe that you will find the result has a nice ring to it. Some of the other gems that your secretary came up with include an "uffish" thought, "whiffling" when you certainly meant "waffling," and some sort of wood. She called it a "tulgey wood." Again the computer came through: Did you mean "turkey wood?" Admittedly, the computer had quite a time with "turkey wood"; it insisted that it should have been "turkey would." But that would have been nonsense. A good editor shouldn't be afraid to override a computer. When I first saw the word "chortled" I was sure that you had made it up!(2) The computer didn't flag it as being misspelled, but it couldn't offer any synonyms for it either. On looking it up, I was amused to discover that it was meant to be a cross between a chuckle and a snort. How clever of you to find it! Well, enough criticism. I'm sure your poem is salvageable. It's a pity, though, that even "cleaned up" this poem would be far too difficult for children to read. One function of the PROFS proofreader is to check the comprehension level of a word. I'm afraid that some of the words you use are level 16, i.e., a person would have to be a graduate student or better to understand the word. That's too bad, because there's quite a market for children's verse. Anyway, I've underlined the unrecognizable words in your original and I'm returning it to you. I've also enclosed the result of my collaboration with the computer; I believe that you will find the corrected version to be pleasing, understandable and in keeping with your reputation. Let me know what you think. I hope you understand that there are few publishers out there who care to take the time to work with promising authors. Yours truly, xxxxx xxxxxx -------------------- (1) To "Dungeons and Dragons" players, a "vorpal sword" has the power to sever limbs when the player rolls 18 or higher. The word is a Carroll creation. (2) "Chortle," a word coined by Carroll, has worked its way into standard dictionaries. JABBERWOCKY 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves ----- ------- ------ ----- Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: ---- ------ ---- All mimsy were the borogoves, ----- --------- And the mome raths outgrabe. ---- ----- -------- "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! ---------- The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun ------ The frumious Bandersnatch!" -------- ------------ He took his vorpal sword in hand: ------ Long time the manxome foe he sought -- ------- So rested he by the Tumtum tree, ------ And stood awhile in thought And, as in uffish thought he stood, ------ The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, ---------- Came wiffling through the tulgey wood, -------- ------ And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! ------ He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. ---------- "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? ---- Come to my arms, my beamish boy! ------- O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" -------- ------- ------ He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves ----- ------- ------ ----- Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: ---- ------ ---- All mimsy were the borogoves, ----- --------- And the mome raths outgrabe. ---- ----- -------- JABBERWHACKY 'Twas broiling, and the slithery toes Did gore and gimlet in the wave: All misty were the bongoes, And the mole rats outraged. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The furious Ballerinas!" He took his verbal sword in hand: Long time the meantime foe he sought -- So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought And, as in iffiest thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came waffling through the turkey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The verbal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galloping back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beaming boy! O fabulous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy. 'Twas broiling, and the slithery toes Did gore and gimlet in the wave: All misty were the bongoes, And the mole rats outraged.